Monday, July 28, 2008

Let me just let you know there are no pictures in this post, so if that is all you are here for you can leave now. This is a tale of sadness and pain, and pictures cannot adequately define it.
I took the boys fishing last night, by myself, to give Faith a chance to go for a bike ride and have some time to herself. All started well, we caught some grasshoppers to use as bait, got to the lake, got all the poles set up, and set to fishing. Simon got his line, hook, and bobber wrapped up in a tree branch about 30 feet up within 2 minutes of starting. I cut his line, put a new hook on, rebaited it, added a bobber and off he goes. Dylan starts yelling because his line is snagged in some bushes. I get it free, at which point he starts swinging the pole everywhere, and I take a hook in the leg. I yelled "Ouch, stop moving" and I must have scared him because he tried to run off with the pole in his hand. The hook was apparently set well enough I was going wherever he was going. Got that out, cast my line in the water and Simon has to use the bathroom. I tell him to pee on a tree, and he says no he has to poop. The bathrooms are aways up the road, but nobody's at the lake, so I stash all the fishing poles in the bushes, turn around and realize I've left the lights on on the Pathfinder. And the battery's dead. And there's no cell service. And did I mention there is noone at the lake. I take Simon to the bathroom, figure a solution will present itself, and try to fish some more. Dylan snaps his line and reels the remainder into his reel. Despite warnings that they will get cold, both kids wade out up to their chests in the lake, throwing the biggest rocks they can find into the water. I'm still fishing, but it's mostly just going through the motions at this point. Then salvation arrives in the form of a drunk guy in a big pickup who parks down the road. I walk down and ask him for a jump, he reluctantly agrees, says he'll be there in a minute. I walk back, put all the fishing stuff in the Pathfinder, tell Simon to get in his seat and put Dylan in his seat. As I'm buckling Dylan in Simon says "Dad. Dad. Daddy, daddy, daddy" with increasing panic in his voice each time. I look across the seat to see his hand right next to the edge of door, it looks like he's trying to pull it away but one of his fingers is stuck. I run over there, and all I can think about is Matt Philip's little brother. Do you remember Matt Philip? I went to school with Matt, his dad was a mailman, he had a little sister, two little twin brothers. He lived off of St. Clair. One of his brothers cut off the tip of his finger when it got shut in a car door when he was little. Or I dreamed that he did, either way, that's what I was thinking of. I ran over to the other side of the pathfinder, opened the door and something fell to the ground, I got sprayed in the face with something warm, wet, and sticky, and Simon's screaming to beat all. I pick up the end of his thumb off the ground, throw it in the cooler and.........Just kidding, his thumb didn't fall off, but it was smashed flatter than a pancake. I figured with all the talk about Matt Philip's little brother I had to have a big finish. Luckily he didn't break it. I got a jump, drove home, and told Faith I would probably stab her in the heart with an icepick while she was sleeping. Then the kids asked to watch a movie and I said no because it was past nine and two hours past one of their bedtimes, and an hour past the other one's, and then they both threw a tantrum. Laying down hitting and kicking the floor, screaming for all they're worth, the whole nine yards. I told Faith I wasn't going to stab her anymore, it needed to be more personal, I would probably choke her. Got the kids put to bed, they both fell asleep within two minutes of laying down, and reflected on the sainthood of Dad, who used to take five boys fishing. Two is enough for me to taking a long walk off a short dock, or however the saying goes.
I left the camera at home because Faith said she wanted to take pictures, but she hasn't taken any. I'll take some on Thursday when I get my one day off and post them in about 2 weeks when I get another day off.

1 comment:

Ken P said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!